Boldness is one of the keys to success and happiness. You need to ask for what you want. Period. Stop deliberating, stop planning, and just act. It’s the squeaky wheel that gets the grease.

Boldness overcomes fear

I relate to Jennifer Cohen’s TedX about the topic. “Why we don’t get what we want? We all have fear. Fear of failure, rejection, not being good enough. Fear comes from self-doubt. It’s why we get a crappy job, don’t get the body we want, don’t make the money we deserve, and stay in relationships much longer than we know we should. It’s why we never change. Why we don’t grow ourselves like we could. What is self-doubt? It’s a story we tell ourselves. Saying something is not possible. It’s why often times smart people fail. Smart people are really good in predicting all the negative outcomes.” It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

Jennifer believes that boldness is a stronger indicator of success than intelligence.

I agree with Jennifer. When obstacles occur(and that’s daily for me), my reptile brain reacts very quickly, but my “intelligence” takes over. So I take a step back and analyse the root cause. However, I must keep myself from overthinking but making small steps. Timeboxing helps me not to save time on too much thinking. It forces me to act. Now. Today. When such a little step requires much energy, it’s probably the right thing to do.

Is boldness a skill?

Jennifer’s definition of boldness is remarkable: “You chase what you want, and you don’t take what you can get.” The problem is that most of us live on default. We default to what’s convenient. We take what’s available and acquiesce(God, I hate that word) to what’s in front of us.

I’m not an expert, but Jennifer says that boldness is a skill you can learn. Something you can practice and improve. She has this nice theory which is the 10% target. You make 10 attempts for something you want. She claims that most people don’t even make one attempt. So it would help if you learned how to get comfortable with failing 90% of the time.

She lost me at the restaurant story, though 😉 But I do agree with the point she wants to make. If you can’t ask for the small things in life, don’t even start asking for the big stuff.

Does boldness drive happiness?

We’ve all had failures; we’ve all had successes. Jennifer even says that if you chase what you want instead of taking what you can get, you are exponentially happier and more satisfied with your life!

She even claims it works 100%. So either you get the one thing you want, or you get that one thing you were meant to do.

From my experience, I can confirm.

A team of bold people

Sidenote. Imagine you can work with a team of bold people. Most people who join a team will probably think of themselves they are so bold. But they’re not. You know by the way they handle their first obstacle. But as Jeniffer says, it’s a skill you can learn. In my chats with people, it’s the most important aspect I focus on.

On n’a que soi

Jennifer doesn’t answer the question: how do you know what you want? I already spoke about it in my “I mean, what’s the point?“. Nobody will come to help you find your purpose. Nobody will tell you what to do today. Defining your purpose requires boldness too. It helps to surround yourself with other bold people.

So yes, decide today which job you want, what you want your body to look like, what kind of partner you want to be, and how much money you want to make..and be boldly applying the 10% rule.

The Secret to Getting Anything You Want in Life

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