The closer you get to realising your dream, the more you expose yourself to opposition from the universe. You need to know who you are before you know how to handle opposition and who’s on your side.
I’m an Achiever, personality type 3. I love opposition and competition, as long as it helps me achieve my goal. I listen easily to good feedback and adapt if I feel it will make me reach my goal in a more effective way.
However, if if feel that opposition blocks me from reaching my goal, I have to be very aware of what could happen to me (and the opposition too by the way). If I don’t handle it in the right way, I will try to convince the opposition that they are wrong and this is what happens to me:
- I work even harder until I’m exhausted
- I detach from people that love me the most
Authenticity, honesty, optimism, ambition and self-confidence stop that negative spiral, but you will need a lot of it. And you will need support.
I’m lucky that my best buddy in life is an 8, because she’s the one who gives me forthrightness in expression, fearlessness, physical vigor, and determination to achieve my personal vision. So whenever something or someone blocks me from reaching my goal, she jumps in.
I’m lucky that my three kids are the best. My two girls and boy share so much wisdom from very different perspectives, that I just have to listen to them to know my priorities again. It’s as easy as that.
I’m lucky that my parents are the best. After 43 years, they start to understand what my goal in life is. They’ve been there, supporting and challenging me, ever since I was a little boy. Talking to them always reassures me that they’ve got my back.
So if I handle it the right way, this is what I say to myself
Now, let’s call my gang to see how they are doing in Belgium and then go for brunch at Petite Abeille in NYC!
On a separate note: if you want to know more about your core values or personality type, ping me. The Hercules Academy has great coaches to help you. I know, because I work with them every day.
Great words on dealing with opposition here. As you say, it’s not every opposition that is bad. It’s very important to identify what kind of opposition we are facing and whether it’s worth the fight or the silence.
An active opposition is your most valuable resource. Why?
People can be classified according to 2 criteria:
First, they love your project (supporter) or they are against it (opponents)
And second, people are either active or passive.
So, an active supporter is someone who will join your team and will be a great resource.
A passive supporter is good to listen to but won´t do much so in the end not such a great resource.
A passive opponent may tell you he or she does not like your project, but they won´t harm you.
The active opponent however is going to criticize your project and work against it.
Such an active opponent is the most important person you should listen to. Ask this person what it is he or she does not like about your project and write it down. Go back to your team and try to improve in order to adjust your project to take into account the arguments of the active opponent . Then go back and explain what you did and ask again. “What don´t you like about my project?”. And again the active opponent will find things he or she does not like. Go back to your team and use this feedback to make your project even better. And then go back … and again… until one day the active opponent admits you got a great project. And who knows … he or she may become your greatest active supporter. Or maybe not. But active opponents are a great resource for improvement.
Fully agree my friend. As long as the active opponent wants to become a supporter and plays by the rules of non-aggressive communication to share his opinion.
I was indeed referring to “normal” non-agressive people. 😉
That’s why I used the picture of “The Haters” 😉
Reblogged this on ingevanbelle.